A fleeting, subjective impression

Hi JP

I've been busy. We've added a baby. We've moved. We bought a house on Mt. Bonnell.

I do not recommend moving with a baby. However, the view I have of Lake Austin and the hills is gorgeous.

I will update soon. I just wanted to say hi.

Care to comment?

Tuesday, 25-Aug-2009 02:44

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Bed Rest

the light make-up I put on for all day in bed

I love the early morning. This baby and I are on the same sleeping schedule. I can't sleep at night, but I can take about five naps during the day if I'm alone. I get up at around five. Ali is still fast asleep. Ian is in that place between sleep and reality. I roll on over and get up from the bed and walk through the quiet house. I turn on some music that plays throughout the house and in the bedrooms to get the boys up and moving, but they will remain in bed for another hour. I eat a banana on my way outside to pick up the chronicle. I come back in and open Ali's bedroom door to sneak a peek. I go to Ian and turn on the bedside lamp to help him consider getting up. Still, no one is moving.

I take my dog outside and she runs in the wet grass while I sit by the pool. It has been humid lately. Every evening calls for a thunderstorm or lightening storm. We've had some great light shows recently. The kind that you turn off all the lights for. I'll start to read the paper, but I don't get very far at all. Archer is kicking away and making his presence known. He must like the sound of my muffled singing. I'm glad neighbors can't stare over my fence and see the pregnant woman outside, singing out loud to the baby in her tummy, at 5:30 in the morning. This morning, I was singing some great numbers from Heart.

I'm starting to believe all the pregnancy myths about having boys. My hair looks fabulous. It's not falling out and it doesn't look flat. Sometimes, I actually feel like I'm glowing. My skin looks lovely. From behind, I still have a waist. I carry all of my baby up front. He also enjoys steak and shrimp (you know, if you want to take me out to dinner, the baby's wants come first).

I can't wait to meet him.

**I'm on bed rest now. It's killing me. Especially since my mom and sisters insist on being present when the boys aren't around to make sure I'm actually resting in bed. This is why I love the mornings. I still have some freedom and room to stretch.

Mon 21-Sep-2009 01:25
Posted by:JP - [Link]

Hi. How's it going?

Friday, 31-Jul-2009 08:28

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Moving

I spent the day with my Ali and his darling friend Ellie. They rode a carousel together, and he made her sick by spinning round and round as fast as he could in a roundabout. It's fun to observe their relationship as friends. I sat on a bench, eating cotton candy, and watched my son spin the poor girl to death. She likes to tell him what to do. He looks like he wants to kick her in the shin.
~
Ian and I have considered moving closer to where my mom and dad have their ranch. I want land and a house and horses and chickens. Sometimes, I think we should have a goat. Ali likes to ride his motorbikes and I like long driveways shaded by trees. I also want a porch with a design table outside my drawing room on the second floor. I want to work and sunbathe while wearing a large hat and sipping my iced tea.

Should we decide to move, I know I will miss our neighborhood. Two blocks down are the baseball diamonds. Down the street and to the right stands our church and Ali's school. I know and love our neighbors; we sit and chat into the late hours of the night while the kids are still out playing hide and seek, shining flashlights in each other's faces causing maniacal laughter. Everyday at seven sharp, the ice cream/ snow cone man comes down the street with the truck that plays a song and screams "hello". There is a neighborhood cat that likes to chill outside our dining room window and cause my dog to bark wildly and run all through the house only to come back to the window and start all over again. There are also the wonderful nights on the back porch, after get togethers with family and friends, when there was only Ian and I and a glowing pool. We are young, and we like to act like it. My home here has provided many sweet memories.

Making a move is such a big decision. Many of my friends my own age hop around town, moving here and there, just to try something new. They have no one else to think about but themselves. I can't do that so easily. It's so difficult trying to figure if you're making the right decision for your family.

Tomorrow, we are visiting my parents. Perhaps I will sneak up to my old bedroom and dig up the Magic 8-Ball from my closet and ask it if moving is the right decision. It was right years ago when my sister shook it like mad and asked, "Is Allison preggo?" and it replied with "You may rely on it."

However, I did get "Without a doubt" when I asked if I would ever get the chance to make out with Johnny Depp.

We lived in the country, in an old farm house on a dead-end dirt road. It was wonderfully remote and wild, but it was too far from everything, including our families and friends. We next purchased a vintage 1885 house in a small town on a double-sized lot with carriage house and alley behind. When we finally both worked in the same city, not splitting a commute 50/50, we next moved to a 1920s four-square in a wonderful neighborhood, the kind you describe, and I doubt we will ever find another one so good. Seven years since moving from there, though only 1.5 miles away, I still miss that old neighborhood and the folks we left behind, many of whom still have impromptu street pizza parties and kid play nights in somebody's front yard. Their newer neighbors have been drawn to that place just as we had been, and I think there is just that one street in this whole city that shines like that one.
But we moved for some of the same reasons you also describe. The desire for something just a bit more "us" become too strong. We did find what we wanted, an old farmhouse in the city. It, too, had been built in 1885 and was the center of 80 acres outside the city limits back then. The area has since been annexed and we have a half acre remaining of the original 80, the farmland long ago parceled off and made into 1950s and '60s subdivisions.
Ideally, I would choose to mix what we have with what we had, for the people of that former neighborhood were so much more than just neighbors. The kids' Montessori school was just two blocks away. The library was there, too, and parks and a couple of small stores: remnants of a better time, and we all knew it.

In the end, you can't have it all. So you have to turn away from that which you aren't quite sure about and follow those core desires in your heart. So... do you do your best to create that which you desire right there where you are, or do you take a leap into your dream and see how it turns out? Nobody knows the answers except by hindsight. But don't spend too much time wishing you were someplace else. Life's too short for large regrets; either change things or get over it.

I'd like chickens. But city ordinance requires 100 feet between chickens and any human dwelling in any/all directions. I can't quite squeeze that in there, but it's almost worth taking a chance. If we get caught, we just have them for dinner, I guess.

Fri 14-Aug-2009 19:23
Posted by:JP - [Link]

Friday, 31-Jul-2009 08:17

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Soak in the water

when it's hot as balls outside

Care to comment?

Monday, 27-Jul-2009 06:28

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Summer

These past couple of weeks have been a little crazy.

I went with Ava to D.C. to get her place set up. While I was there, I received a call from Ian and he told me Ali was in a motocross accident and was in the hospital. I rushed home as fast as I could to be with him while he recovered from a collapsed lung and some other bumps and bruises.

My dad was supposed to be with Ali at the track while he was racing, but he wasn't. Of course, I was upset and had an argument in the hospital. I'm very pregnant and during all this arguing, I started feeling my own pains and stress and trembling. To make a very long story short, I ended up a couple of floors above Ali's in an uncomfortable hospital bed. It took my doctor some time to get to me. While I waited for him, I swear I had to deal with this man: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bS97C3_yTiQ

A week has passed, and Ali and I are out of the hospital. The baby looks quite happy and healthy on the ultrasound video. He's kicking, squirming, and jamming out in the belly, and I'm gaining weight and about to start naming my chins. Ian thinks I'm smokin' hot. Now I don't feel sexy, but I will say that pregnancy is really agreeing with my hair and nails.

It's sweltering hot outside. You cannot walk to your car without sweating. Thunderstorms rumble in the afternoon. It feels best at the ranch. I like to sit on the porch while it's pouring heavy rain. It's summer rain and smells wonderful. I lay down on the porch swing with my legs up and eyes closed. I have daydreams about my baby. The clouds move on and Ali, Ian, and my father are in the distance riding their bikes around the muddy track. Nothing stops those boys. Archer kicks like crazy and I know he can't wait to join them.

*WHAP!*
"Pick that up."
Hahahaha! For me, the hardest part of acting would be keeping a straight face during a funny scene.

Mon 27-Jul-2009 11:58
Posted by:JP

Friday, 3-Jul-2009 02:41

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Ava Elise

The youngest in the family is leaving for university. You'd never believe it with the way she awes at my belly, rubs it, and makes fun with the "You're growing a penis inside of you!" comment. I have to remind her I've done this before.

She's moving to D.C. and will be going into art and museum studies.

I think I kind of understand the freak out parents go through when their children leave for university. While Ava is very intelligent, she can't wash her own clothes. She's never used a washing machine. She doesn't know how to change a tire. She knows no self defense moves. She tries to program her GPS and drive at the same time instead of pulling over. Her cooking is okay, but she's set the smoke alarm off many times. She has fallen asleep in her room with a candle burning. The list goes on.

I don't think my parents are as nervous as I am. They've done this many times already. They will miss her. However, I'm her sister. I know her secrets, and I know all the bad she's done that she hasn't told mom and dad about.

I think she realizes this is the last step before the big show. She's been staying here with me lately, and after Ian goes to bed, we stay up late, eat popcorn, and watch old movies. She tells me she's scared. I've never heard Ava say she's scared of anything. Well, maybe when she had her appendix removed. I remind her how much fun is to be had, and I will visit her every chance I get since I leave for D.C. about twice a year for work alone. I try so hard not to be sad around her. I hate that she won't be here to meet the baby when he arrives. She won't come over at nine at night with movies in tow asking if she can sleep over. I won't have my shopping partner, and she won't meet me at work for a quick lunch and laugh anymore. I won't have her around.

I'm going to miss my baby sister. D.C. better be nice to her, or I will kick its ass.

You have made me think back to when I left home. As the oldest of three, I have two sisters: one three years younger, and one eight years younger. We were and still are very close, but I think I was at the time, completely oblivious to the effects my leaving had upon them.
I was 19 at the time, leaving for service in the Air Force. So one sister was in high school, and the other was... in sixth grade? It was a time before cell phones and e-mail. So I made collect calls home sometimes, and we wrote letters. Wrote a lot of letters. My younger sister and I continued for many years to write letters, filled with news and feelings and hand-drawn cartoons and newspaper clippings. We still get them out once in a while and laugh till we cry. She even put all my letters to her together into a book a couple of years ago and presented them to me. I cried again then.
For your sister to go directly to WDC might be a major life-changing shock to her system. I suspect there will be a steep learning curve from the University of Hard Knocks. But if she is smart and resilient ~ and lots of good advice accepted from others who might already know a thing or two ~ she'll probably come out the other end of the experience intact.

Beautiful women seem to run in your family.

Thu 9-Jul-2009 12:11
Posted by:JP - [Link]

Tuesday, 9-Jun-2009 08:42

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Whatever

other side of mom and dad's ranch

1. Ali left with his dad for Nova Scotia yesterday. He has so much fun visiting his grandparents, and I'm so happy they take such good care of him. He always comes back a little taller and wiser.

2. So, we're going to be working on a nursery. We're leaning towards a nautical theme.

3. When I go shopping, all I want to buy are dresses. It's summer and it's hot. I just want to wear pretty dresses in summer colors!

4. My sisters and I are working on throwing a jazz-age lawn party at the ranch and inviting as many people as we can. The evenings are nice at the ranch and we've already put up lights on all the trees on the main drive and lawn. It looks dreamy.

5. I really don't like it when people scream on their cell phones in public.

6. I've been lusting over bath soaps at a local bath shop. I buy a new one everytime I walk into the store. I have a huge jar full of them by the guest bath. Take your pick. Saltwater soap? Cedarwood? Clary Sage? White grapefruit?

7. I give a hug and a kiss when I greet people. If it's a first time meeting, a handshake will suffice. I've noticed many people don't like the physical contact during a greeting. I see it can make them feel awkward. Oh well.

8. At a party, a friend needed her warm white wine chilled pretty fast. I advised her to wrap a wet paper towel around the bottle and stick it in the freezer. About ten minutes later it was perfect!

9. The lady that paints my nails thinks Ali is my daughter.

10. I'm actually really excited to see Where the Wild Things Are.

My wife and I browsed all the shops in Saugatuck yesterday. That town is a wonderful resort and artist-y area tucked under the trees on the Lake Michigan shoreline.
I picked up and sniffed at all the soaps. I want one of each.
We had great lunch with our kids at a French bistro: duck bruschetta, crab crepes, pomme frites with lemon sauce, and more.
I came home with a head full of ideas for creative creations and plans for the gardens. The only piece of art that I bought was a gothic dog concrete statue from the broken stuff pile at one store. I told the proprietor that I only wanted the gargoyle dog head, but he made me buy the whole thing. I might put the two pieces together again, but really I wanted to use the cast head for something unexpected. We'll see....

Mon 29-Jun-2009 13:47
Posted by:JP - [Link]

Tuesday, 9-Jun-2009 07:52

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First comes love, then comes marriage,

taken at the airport, saying bye to Ali

then comes a blue baby carriage!

We are having a boy!

Ian Christian Cruz (he's so special, he was given three first names)
Allison Elizabeth
Alistair Evan
and
coming soon,
Archer Eliot.

Happy times.

Wed 10-Jun-2009 01:34
Posted by:Richard

Congratulations!

Tuesday, 2-Jun-2009 06:09

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Kemah

After giving Ali a little speech about the writing on the wall of his classroom, we rewarded him with a trip to Kemah Boardwalk.

It was a reward for finishing the year with outstanding grades and staying relatively trouble free. We had already promised his friends and him we would take them to the boardwalk to have dinner and get sick on the rides. He's leaving next week to be with his dad and grandparents and I want to do things he wants to do because I'm going to miss him so much. They enjoy riding the Boardwalk Bullet rollercoaster. It was the only ride not completely damaged by hurricane Ike, and it's the world's most compact wooden rollercoaster.

We walked into a restaurant I did some work with after the hurricane destroyed much of its interior. The head chef and manager of the restaurant came out to the dining room to publicly praise me for helping bring the restaurant back to working order and making it more beautiful than ever. I am so uncomfortable with public praise and acknowledgment. It feels like receiving a gift when you least expect it and the moment leaves you feeling a bit awkward. I never know what to do in those situations. At openings, I usually accept thanks and acknowledgments with my team or if it's a big deal, I pass them over to my boss at the firm. I'm fine doing my job and getting a simple, "Job well done!"

Ali was so proud. For years, he's seen me as the professional color-coder. He's seen me in magazines and in newspapers, but he still didn't get it. I had to explain to him that these two men put everything they had into this restaurant only months before the hurricane came and destroyed it, leaving their hopes and dreams to wash back into the ocean. I still remember the looks on the men's faces when we went to assess the damage. They had already seen the restaurant a couple of times prior to my trip out to the island and Umi, the chef, still broke down.

I think Umi's appreciation through hugs and kisses and a demand for a round of applause helped Ali realize I do a little more than match colors.

He came in this evening smelling like rust and sawdust (he likes to tinker around in the garage with his friends and build things). I was working on some arrangements for a residence I'm going to be working with in these next few weeks. The couple has adopted a little boy and he will be arriving in four weeks. Never before has Ali sat down and actually had a conversation with me about my work. For the first time, he sat with me and looked at some pictures, paint samples, floor samples, and light fixtures. He didn't say much, he just looked through them with me and pointed at ones he liked best. When we got to crown molding, he realized he wanted chocolate pudding and left me to myself.

I was simply thrilled he showed a slight interest and understanding of what I do.

Care to comment?

Saturday, 30-May-2009 04:05

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Dick goes here

I was called in to meet with one of Ali's teachers today, this last day of school before summer vacation.

Because of what he wrote on the wall, he will be starting school next year with in school suspension.

I couldn't help but laugh when I saw it. I had to take a photo. The teacher didn't look amused.

I don't know. I thought it was funny.

What'd he do, write it in blood? He must have tried it already!

Now to get his friends to get hurt, too. It's a right of passage, you know.

Sat 30-May-2009 13:45
Posted by:JP Harr - [Link]